And now for something tastier!

"Cupcakes, that's like putting a different category for doughnut holes. They're doughnuts! You know what that is? That's just to make you feel better than standing there and eating, you know, a whole cake.
Pie is not trying to live a lie. By giving you a little bit of cupcake and going, "Oh, you can feel good about yourself, fatty fat fatso." Pie says, "You want a big slice of me? Come and get me!"

--Glenn Beck
Radio Host, Television Personality, Philosopher.

Can't you just feel the love

These are the people accusing us of hate and bigotry. I love the example they are setting. If you don't get you way in a democracy, villianize those that opposed you. Send suspicious packages filled with white powder to their places of worship. Blame them of the very types of activities of which you are guilty (hate and discrimination). I for one enjoy being hated by hypocrites like these who do not tolerate any view but their own.

LDS voters made up less than 2.4% of the electorate in California (about 250,000 eligible voters). There are an estimated 10 million Catholics, not to mention Jews, Protestants, "Evangelical" Christians, etc., etc. And yet we are the one's being targeted for these attacks. Orson Scott Card collected a lot of the information in an interesting article at MormonTimes. Check it out here, it's good reading, I highly recommend it.

This whole effort is really about redefining the meaning of the word "marriage", from "man + woman" to "man/woman + man/woman" (or *+* for all you geeks out there). This is what we're actually talking about, not equal rights. Any gay man already has the right to marry any willing woman he can find. That is the exact same right that I enjoy, nothing different.

Anyway this all reminds me of a quote by Douglas Adams, which is funny since he was an adamant athiest. In his book "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" there is a small yellow fish, which when placed in your ear, has the remarkable effect of making it instantly possible to understand any language you hear. Adams continues,

"Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing. "

Let's try not to get killed at any zebra crossings which by the way, is really just "British" for "Crosswalk", I wouldn't want to be accused of trying to change the meaning of that word ;-)

Children's Books That Didn't Make It

Ok, so this one has made the email rounds a few times and most of the people who read this also read "Uncle Orson Reviews Everything" at Hatrack.com (where I got it), but I had to post it anyway. Hey, It's my really cool blog about stuff, not yours!

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Scott
4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers, and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's It, I'm Putting You Up For Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking, and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were An Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes the Hamster.and Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

Barack's Illegitimate Uncle?

Is it just me or is there a spooky resemblence between Barack's Mom and John Kerry?

I'm just sayin'.

It's never too late Jon!

WILKES COUNTY, N.C. — A backyard angler has bagged the state’s record channel catfish using a 2½-foot hot pink Barbie Doll rod and reel.
David Hayes caught the record-breaking fish from a private pond while fishing early this month with his granddaughter, Alyssa, 3. The 21-pound, 1-ounce catfish measured 32 inches long — 2 inches longer than the Barbie Doll fishing pole. “After catching two or three bluegill, Alyssa turns to me and says: ‘Papa, I’ve got to go to the bathroom. Hold my fishing rod,’” Hayes was quoted as saying in a news release from the state Wildlife Resources Commission.
“A few minutes later, the float went under, and I saw the water start boiling up — I knew right then that I had my hands full with that fishing rod.”

It took Hayes about 25 minutes to land the fish, which measured 22½ inches in girth. Hayes said that once he got it to the bank, he was pretty certain his channel cat would exceed the previous state record, an 18-pound, 5-ounce fish caught in August 2007.
The fish was weighed on certified scales at a nearby grocery store, and a fisheries biologist with the Wildlife Resources Commission certified that Hayes was right.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26335667/?gt1=43001

--See Jon, you should never have given up fishing with Ol' Snoopy. You could have gotten into the record books.

Swimsuit hype

"I tested it. I threw it in the pool and it didn't move at all, so I'll still have to swim."

Markus Rogan - Backstoker for the Austrian Olympic team, on the controversial new Speedo LZR suit that is helping everyone swim faster than Aquaman.

Gone Fishin'

So I haven't posted for a while, like that should surprise you. Anyway, we had our BLM employee summer picnic the other evening and our office photographer got this one of Aidan. He's soaked after the water fight (we couldn't keep him away from the water balloons!) and now he's taking on the fishing pond. Note the latest addition to his scar collection on his forehead. I like to call him Lil, Frankenstein.

NEW-click on the picture and view it at the full resolution in order to see the infamous scar.

Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue!

Ok, this is just some really cool stuff. It's honestly like something out of a Heinlein story. Apparently this guy flew for over six minutes, performed loops, rolls and even flew inverted. Next he wants to cross the English Channel and after that he wants to fly inside the Grand Canyon. No Jeff, you can't have one.


Check out more here, here and for video here.

Too Much Breakfast!

So here's the problem. Jer and Harmony have been eating too much breakfast. If Mom wants a granddaughter, she'll just have to make sure you two don't eat as well. It's been scientifically proven. check it out here.
I'm just not sure what our excuse is.

Your Tax Dollars work

So I was looking for a form the other day at work and ran across this. The title of the form really says it all.

Form

On another note, the other night when Jo and the boys came back from their trip to Bear River City, they came to visit me at the "Holiday Inn Express hotel and suites in scenic Vernal, Utah." Anyway, we put out fresh baked cookies, hot chocolate and coffee every evening. So of course the first thing Corbin does when he comes in is go straight to the cookies, what do you expect, he's three. After that he comes around the desk to give me a hug (he's got his priorities, I understand). I put him down and start talking to JoLynn. After a couple of minutes I wonder where Corbin has gone. I look around the corner to see him examining one of the heavy ceramic mugs we put out. Matter-of-factly he states that he's thirsty and then proceeds to pump himself a cup of coffee, like he'd been doing it all his life. He didn't spill and drop and I'm sure he would've have taken a drink (apparently he likes his coffee black) if I hadn't rushed over and stopped him. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm scared of what coffee would do to Corbin.

1001 uses for a lightsaber

Not to be outdone by my Sister-in-Law Harmony (like any of you reading this don't know who Harmony is), here are some more uses for a lightsaber. As always, I cannot condone all of the suggested activities.

The big advantage of using a lightsaber, of course, is that you can both cut and toast the bagel in one stroke.

Hedge Trimming

Lighting a Cigarette

Sawing Through PVC Pipe

Reheating coffee

Serving Cake

Felling a Tree

This post was modified from an email I got once and an article at:

http://entertainment.howstuffworks.com/lightsaber.htm

And Now for Something Completely, Completely Different

JoLynn has set up her own blog (http://nateandjoplus2.blogspot.com/) where she'll post cute pictures and give all you in blogland useful updates about our family. This now frees my blog to be what I wanted it to be (not that I have anything against cute picture blogs). It can now be my forum to rant about things that frustrate me and review things that are awesome.

On that note did anyone catch the new Knight Rider? I tuned in out of nostalgia's sake. The original Knight Rider was one of my favorite shows when I was a kid. I've since tuned into the re-runs and thought: "What was I thinking?" The Hoff deffinately deserves his Cheesiness rating. Over the years I've tuned into the various reincarnations of Knight Rider and have not been impressed (Knight Rider 2000 or Team Knight Rider anyone?) Needless to say I didn't tune into this version with a whole lot of expectations.

So I was astounded when the show didn't totally suck rocks! I don't think it's going to win any awards for best drama anytime soon. Nor do I think that I would tune in every week. But it wasn't that bad. As a bonus, the new KITT is a a black 550 HP Ford Shelby GT500KR Mustang. Not bad, and definately an improvement over the old Firebird. Also, as a last minute replacement, they used Val Kilmer as the voice of KITT. He did a pretty good job.

VS.

I'll Take Door Number Two.