Really Cool Thing #992: Grandma

I just received a phone call from my Dad this morning. For some reason I answered like I was at my job at the Holiday Inn instead of the BLM. That strange little reaction added some joviality to an otherwise somber conversation. He called to inform me that my Grandma had just passed away. It wasn't really a shock, she had been ailing for quite some time and we all know that she feels much better now.

I'm sad, but I'm not devastated. When I heard the news I couldn't help but think on all of the wonderful memories she gave me. I will be eternally grateful for how she welcomed my wife into our family. JoLynn loved Grandma desperately for this. I'll always remember her house. Running up the path on the south side. The endless sea of juniper bushes in the backyard on the other side of the steps. Painting the roof with crazy aluminum paint. Hidden cookies and candies. Stacks of white bread with dinner. Traveling across the country in their motor home. Camping trips and family reunions. Jeff staggering out of their motor home, for a skit, with his pants stuffed with a pillow saying "I can't believe I ate all of it!" Their house packed full of cousins at Christmas. Swinging on the last baluster at the bottom of the stairs. Times when Grandma would tell Grandpa to hush when she thought his teasing went too far. Seeing her hold my sons for the first time. I'll love her forever for not giving a damn where they came from or what color they were.

Most of you who read this will know all of these things already. But I just felt like I should record this flood of thoughts I'm having. If Viola (she always hated that name!) Geertson Packer was your grandma think of all the wonder and joy she brought to your life. If not, remember your grandma and think of her.

Really Cool thing #994: National Poetry Month

OK, since everybody else is doing it, I might as well jump on the bandwagon too. I'm posting the only two poems I remember from High School. I'm sure my AP english teacher, Mrs. Storey (yes thats really her name) would be shocked I remembered anything. I know she was shocked that I actually passed the test.

I memorized them mainly because they were short, but also because I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was really particularly effective. They also had particularly interesting rythmic devices which seem to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor... or something like that.
To be honest I had to google the second one to get the words right. They're both by Stephen Crane



A man said to the universe:
"Sir I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."




In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said: "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter - bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

Really Cool Thing #995: Bad Kung Fu fight scenes with a wheelchair dubbed in German

Chalk this one up to things you never thought existed. But aren't you better off now that you know it does?